Call of Booty

Since a game store falls into the realm of bartering more than most other retail outlets, you get your share of people trying to haggle you for every penny they can on traded material. Most of the time this won't work very well, since prices are set in the computer. However there are some hot items that merchants will pay a little more for, and there's always that rare game you want for yourself that you are willing to spill the beans for - but you can't let it show.

And let's not forget the female customers that try to charm the pants off you. A store about women manipulating game store clerks? Yeah, lets go there.

These two girls come in the store with a stack of DVDs looking to sell. Keep in mind these movies are the usual crap that we already have sitting in the bins - Hellboy, Shrek, Spiderman, Harry Potter, and Star Wars Episodes I, II, and III - stuff I'm really tired of looking at. These girls talk to me a little bit, and then they're like "Yo dude, hook us up a bit." Here's the pitch, it's a fastball right down the center of the plate.

Now any female attention is nice, but I had to call these sirens out on their bluff. I explained to them that I could give them a little extra, but where would that leave me? We're running a business to make money, and after I overpay for crap movies that I already have ten copies or more of, I'll never see you two again. Know what the response was?

"We'll stop in and visit you......."

Yeah right. Every week you're going to remember to go visit the video game store to fulfill a non-contractual obligation that binds you into spending some time with the guy who gave you a few extra bucks for DVDs. I highly doubt that. After paying them the usual price, they came back with "I guess we're just not cute enough for him then." I could almost see :( appearing above their heads. And truth be told, not only were they of average looks, checking their ID for trading showed they were also 10 years my youngers.

And I never saw the "hook us up" girls again. Same response as if I would have hooked them up or not.

Retrogaming Rules!

It's amazing to me how much we still sell from our "retro corner" at the back of the store. I'd have to say that it's pretty close to being a 1:1 ratio between customers coming in to ask about the PS3/Wii, and the 30-somethings who want the NES cart of Tecmo Bowl because it bring back memories of playing it daily after school. While other big name gaming chains are turning away from carrying older NES, Genesis, and N-64 games, we are blowing them out the door. I even mention to NES buyers that the Wii will be able to play them via the virtual console, and the responses I get are either "too expensive", "Wiis are unavailable", or "I want the original cart and controller, it's nostalgic."

Nintendo has really struck a nerve with both that generation of gamers, and the simplistic yet fun games it released. Perhaps when facing the high prices of next-gen gaming, the short suppliy of consoles and uncertainty of developer support of the PS3, backward is the only way to go for consumers.

To get you into the retrogaming mood, check out some classic NES soundtracks done in the rocked out style by either the Minibosses or the Kode.

I have too much time......

Yes, I'm a straight man who likes to watch Gilmore Girls, deal with it.

When things are slow and there's not much to write about, expect more Photoshop fun like this.

Why? Way? WEE? Wii?

We been really busy here lately(note lack of updates by me) and of course a lot of the buzz is for the new systems. So far it seems like Nintendo is cleaning up and Sony is crying. I get calls every single day to buy a Ps3. At first we were buying them for 800...so when we got about 5 or so and were still getting calls I told my boss that these things are so easy to get...now we are paying 600....offering people their money back for those who dont actually want the system and got it for selling on Ebay.

Apprently everyone had the great idea to make a buncha money on Ebay and now the market for it is total crap. Thus the reason we are getting so many in. Wii on the other hand..we cant get enough. We cleaned house on the 11 wii sets we had making some nice money. but, we get no one asking to sell their Wiis....everyone just wants to buy them.

Seems like we have a changing of the guard on the system front. I guess no one console can stay in front forever.....and Sony's arrogant bastard staff helped destroy the console IMO. I played the set for 4 hours here at work messing around and learning the system for furture questions and help people may need and the 'killer app"? for the system...resistance...is nothing more than a call of duty clone IMO...but worse....My verdict is wait a few months on the PS3...not a bad system but nt ready for the market yet...

Getting back to the selling of the Wiis...its so funny listening to all the people and how they ask for it....excuse me..do you have a nintendo why? Yeah i'm looking for a Nintendo Way? Do you guys have a WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE? Yes....i really got that.....haha...its funny...people are coming up with all new stuff everyday. Its enjoyable. One thing i noticed is people of all ages and boys and girls alike are all coming in for em. Congrads Nintendo...seems like ya got a winner.

The monolith has arrived!

So we finally get a PS3 in the store, and the source is a customer who wanted to sell one second hand already. I assume they needed the money........(cue the 2001 Space Odyssey music - this thing looks like a monolith, only does a lot more).

First on my list is registering my gamertag. Of course I go for Postman, and after going through all the information to set it up, the network tells me it's taken! You've got to be kidding me! Out of the whole 20 people in North America that bought a PS3 and didn't sell it yet, one of them thinks they are the real Postman! Oh, well.......I settle for Postmanjr and mess with the system interface a bit.

The web browser looks great in high def, but is hard to navigate. I was having a blast checking out Day in the Life and Shoot the Core on a ps3 set.......hopefully you have a USB keyboard sitting around somewhere, you'll need it. I bookmarked all the necessities (Ebay, Google, etc.) and went to try Blast Factor. It's yet another Geometry Wars clone, which was fun, but played out. There was a small breath of fresh air when tilting the Sixaxis produced a wave across the playing field that knocked enemies over, but it really wasn't too exciting. The demo ended right at a boss fight.....EVIL! The other demo was a Smash TV ripoff, Cash Guns Money or something like that......

After that foreplay, I jumped right into testing the games, Resistance first. Know what? It's your typical FPS. I wasn't blown away like the guy in the Maxwell commercial by the killer next gen graphics. Impressive, mind you, but nothing to go shoot people standing in a Best Buy line over. Genji felt like Onimusha with improved graphics, but was also underwhelming. Maybe I'm being a bit too critical of launch titles (which always suck), but right now I'm not obsessed with owning a new PS3. Add to that the fact that new games won't be appearing until something like March, and my Sony balloon just got deflated.

Buying a next gen console: The RPG

I am so tired of all this retail bull that goes along with launching new consoles. The waiting, the shortages, the jacked up ebay prices......why can't I just walk into a store, throw down some cash, take the console home and play it? As frustrating as this may be, I had the thought that it would make a great RPG.
Chapter one: The lineup.
Assemble your party of as many people as you can, and take them to the local merchant. This must be an MMO, since there are already tons of people hanging around this shop. I hope you fought enough slimes on the way and have 50 or 100 gold to throw down on a "slip of promise", or "slip of promise +15" for the 60 GIG model ps3. Only the most valiant warriors (the first 10 or so to show up) will be able to continue their quest.....

My real life counterpart to this was fairly simple for the Wii - I took off from work and hit the mall in time to secure a console. The ps3 was more difficult though.....I read on the internet THAT MORNING that the preorders would start, got to the store late, and the woman in FRONT OF ME got the last pre-order. If she actually has the console or if she got shorted is another story. I was up early on Nov. 17, so I figured I'd go to the store the public masses would overlook: Gamecrazy. Got there 6 AM, no line!!! Around 7:30 AM, one other woman showed up, who then talked my ear off until 9:30 when the Gamecrazy employee arrived to tell us they got 1 set, and it's already gone (i.e. his). But I could write a book about this woman's problems, she told them all to me.

Chapter two: The pre-order.
It's important to remember that the clerk, while pretending to be your friend delivering the console, is really your mortal enemy. Collecting personal information, trying to sell you games and accessories you don't want, and maybe even pulling your chain the whole time because he/she already knows they won't have enough consoles to go around. Keep reducing those HP untill revealing the final TRUE form! You might even run into a battle with some of the other patrons, be sure to equip strong weapons and armor.



Chapter 3: The pickup.
After two weeks of gaining exp. points, leave the Inn around midnight and head back to the shopkeep in the northwest section of the town. While they turn away most people, set the slip of promise to your item button, and use it on the clerk. He will then move the bookcase behind the counter and allow you to pass. Go down the stairs, and you'll see a chest on the right. Open the chest, and bingo! CONSOLE GET!

My RL counterpart to this was fun - a midnight launch at the mall. Some retailers really go crazy though....they took attendance and called everyone's name - reminded me of SCHOOL. All this just to get new technology. We even tried a few other stores on Wii launch day. One Sam's Club was interesting - you had to ask at the customer service desk for a Wii, which was sold out, but she did mention they have games by the registers. Upon asking at checkout, they had to page a person to come over, who escorted us to a locked fenced area. He moved a few boxes around, and found two boxes of games which we were allowed to look through. Now THAT's a real life RPG moment.

At the end of it all, I did score a Wii, which I will probably end up selling. I played my friend's set, and had lots of fun with it, but I think the smartest thing to do is wait a year for the bugs to get worked out of a system (looking in YOUR direction, Sony). The games for both new systems don't impress me much yet, so patience will rule the day today. And just remember people, when playing the console hunt RPG, it's all in good fun and by middle of 07 stores should have ample suppily, so don't kill anyone over it (unless it's a metal slime).

What about the CONSOLES!?!

We all know what happened this weekend, if you don't you shouldn't be reading this blog. The new consoles invaded the United States, and it was pure chaos trying to get one. I wish I had a good story about a midnight launch at the store, or people throwing money at us to buy sets, but I don't because we got a whole total number of ZERO ps3s or Wiis. Why, you might ask? The Playstation 3 is obvious. Sony "doesn't have enough" to fill orders. And since we're a small mom and pop store, we're first in line to get shafted. Everyone saw that coming. The Wii on the other hand is a little more complicated. If you want to order from Nintendo, you need to be a Nintendo direct store, which we're not. But if you were, they don't just send you a console when you order, they bundle it with tons of crap games that nobody wants. So you get the golden item, but you also have to pay for useless product that's going to sit around. The boss didn't feel like doing that, so he tryed his other distributers. In their case it's much simpler - they just horded them. Luckily I did some pre-ordering at some other stores just to be sure to get my hands on something next-gen, which leads me into the next posting.......

The Mike Kid

I started working here at the store when i was in college...so of course i had some classes with some of our customers. I became friends with this one kid named Ryan. He happened to be the manager at the gamestop across the street from us..our enemy. It was kinda neat though cause he would come in our store..i would go in his..we would chat and share stories.

So after class was over i didnt see him for a while... Then one day he comes in and he is like...

Ryan: Hey Mike

Me thinking he was talking to someone else just let it go...So next time he comes in..

Ryan: Hey Mike whats up?

My boss turns to me..

Boss: Mike?
Hunter: I dunno...haha

So my boss goes to the back and yells my name to start messing witht he kid..he called me by my name like 5 times..the kid still calls me Mike..We couldnt help but crack up..obviously the kid forgot my name...but its just to funny to tell him the truth and its a inside joke now. So whenever he comes in I let him call me Mike and we laugh about it later.

But, of course this caused a funny problem. Me and my girlfriend were at target one day and saw Ryan. I turn to her and I say

Hunter: Whatever this kid says...dont say a word and i'll explain later
Girlfriend: Okie
Ryan: Hey Mike whats up?
Hunter: Not much just killing time...you?
Ryan: Not to much....well gotta go see ya later!

As soon as he is outta sight...my girlfriend turns to me and says

Girlfriend: Mike?
Hunter: Yeah...he forgot my name and calls me Mike..i find it to damn funny to tell him the truth.

It really is so damn funny...I play a good Mike i think ;)
Am i just mean that i dont tell him and instead roll with it and laugh about it later? ;)

Here comes......the BIRDMAN!

Spending any amount of time in a video game store will cause you to brush up against some out-of-the-ordinary characters. And I'm not just talking about the protagonist in the latest version of your favorite game. I could do a roll call of the eccentrics that frequent the store, but today I'm just going to focus on the birdman.
I remember walking into a midday shift with a few customers already in the store and the owner behind the counter. I sit down and start going over things with the owner, casually glancing at the patrons from time to time to be sure they aren't causing any mischief (i.e. robbing us blind). I catch a side view of one guy behind a DVD rack, and swear I see something sitting on his shoulder. He was out of view quickly so I didn't think much of it. Then I hear it - a chirp and someone muttering a high pitched word. As this guy rounds the counter, I see in plain view two birds sitting on either of the man's shoulders. I turn to the owner:

"Hey - that guys got birds! Do we allow pets in here?"

"Oh, that's the birdman. He always come in with them on. They don't bother anyone."

"Are they pets or something? Most people don't take their birds shopping......"

"No, he works at the exitoc bird store down the street....."

"Well, what if they crap on something?"

"Don't sweat it, they'll hit him before they do anything else......he's used to it by now."

Now things start to make some sense. I recognize one animal as an African Grey, becuase my ex-girlfriend used to own one. They're a really cool animal (if your particular one is friendly), and can learn to talk up quite a storm. The other was a large white Cockatoo, which I didn't bother with much. It's fun to watch the reatction of the kids when he's in the store, they either want to interact with the birds and talk to them, or are petrified of them. I haven't seen birdman in a long time, and I kinda miss our feathered friends.....

Hunter's Formula

Our very own Hunter saw this one day, and decided to try it out.......

And guess what, it works! That's him on the left on the way to fix someone's toilet. That is milk in those cups, right guys? Funy thing is, there's a guy in the next room in a Bowser costume that just got the crap beat out of him. Looks like the princess wasn't in another castle after all.

The Touchdown Kid

A father and son were checking out one day, and the dad's got a pile of X-Box games that he places up on the counter. I talk to him a little bit, and learn first of all that his son plays on his school's football team, and happens to be a runningback. The father says that he regrets a deal recently made with this future NFL hall of famer: every touchdown he scores lands him an X-Box game.

This kid's got it made. He must have some talent, since his father also mentioned that he owes about 9 games already, and the lucrative contract was just signed a couple weeks ago. As if a future career in the NFL where players make million dollar salaries isn't enough, having new games to come home to after gridiron matchups must be enough to motivate him to shake one more tackle and push for the end zone. It would be uber-ironic if the youngster wanted a copy of Madden though. Maybe for every touchdown he scores playing in Madden his dad can take him to a football game.

My question is - can this reward system work backwards? For every fumble, does he have to sell a game back to us? If he gets traded to another team, does he have to switch to Playstation?

Meet Mr. Sparkle!

Today I'd like to introduce you to the hardest working, MOST important employee of the store (sorry Hunter), MR. SPARKLE! He's the CD janitor, working hard spit shining all the brutally scratched up copies of Disney movies that hyperactive kids who don't know anything about the delicate handling of compact disc media get their grubby little hands on. Mr. Sparkle can take a game or movie that's been through the ringer, work his magic, and in 4-6 minutes make it look brand new again.




How does he do it, you might ask? Ice water for veins! Gravel ground between his teeth! Well, more like a cleaning compound that's mixed with some distilled water and slowly ran over the CD as it's being buffed. But Mr. Sparkle does have ice water in his veins - even when facing a long day of cleaning box set after box set of "Lost", he doesn't lose his cool.

Most other janitors that applied for this job only had ONE sanding pad - not Mr. Sparkle! Due to a genetic disorder, Mr. S was born with FIVE sanding pads, proving that he was born just to clean games! Tired of having Kingdom Hearts keep skipping audio when Mickey is blathering on about "Sora, Donald, Goofy........."? Mr. Sparkle will buff you up!

Seriously, a lot of people have shown some interest in the CD cleaner, so I figured I'd show it off a bit. Since we clean almost everything that comes in as trade, it gets quite a workout. The pads get replaced about every 50 cleaings, and the filter needs changing, but other than that it's a very durable machine. There's a touch screen on the top (like a Nintendo DS, kids!) for interaction, and you can change the settings depending on how bad the disc is torn up. Gamecube minidiscs are not a problem, just use a handy adaptor to make them the size of regular Cd's. The one thing Mr. Sparkle can't handle is Dreamcast discs, due to the inner ring they are manufactured with. I'm curious about the Wii and PS3 Blu-Ray discs, just don't ask me to be the guinea pig with my personal game collection.

I know "the boss"

Solicitors are the worst. Really. They take time away from serving the customers, and won't take NO for an answer. I'm sure any business gets their share of these parasites, and if you don't know how to deal with them, you're screwed. I'm not talking about someone holding a game tournament wanting to post a flyer in the window, or a kid with a lost dog sign, the real sharks are the ones who have some kind of business deal they want to work out with you....such as including gift cards in a raffle, or selling candy in your store for "charity". I had one of those guys stop in during a shift, and opened up a can of pwnage on him right quick:

"Hi, I'd like to sell these Peppermint Patties at your store and donate the money to (insert charity here)."

"I'm sorry man, we just don't do that here, I can't help you out with that." Which is the truth, it's something we avoid.

"Oh, well I know the owner, I was talking to him the other day, and he said it would be ok."

Slow down pardner. First, you know the owner, and don't refer to him by name? That doesn't pan out.

"So you talked to him just the other day, eh?"
"Yeah, I was in just the other day, and he said I could do it....."

This is great, because the owner was on vacation in Florida for that week. I had this guy by the analogues and knew it. I told him this key fact, and he just turned around and left.

Score:
Postman - 2
Con artists - 0

More gaming stories coming up soon........

The Madden Curse..........

So they say everyone who's on the cover of Madden gets hurt......

Let's hope so.

Fight Night at the store.......

This past weekend was quite an interesting day at the store. Having less of a social life then the other crew members (one took his girlfirend to a play, the other went to a concert), I wound up working an eleven hour shift - open to close. Which in reality I don't mind - I enjoy this job, and that helps me to deal with long days such as this. That, and having things like.....I dunno....fist fights break out in the shop. Did I mention that?


Here's how it went down. A group of four kids come in, and the "leader" (packs of kids always have a leader. Wonder if he's elected, appointed, or just steps up?) wants to sell music CDs. We used to deal in music but stopped about four years ago, so I suggested he try a music store about three miles down the road. He thanked me and the crew started to leave, with two kids hanging by a display by the door, looking at games. These two browsers were talking to each other a little, but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

Next thing I know, one guy is staring the other one down pretty hard. Smack talk starts to fly, and I pay close attention. I still have no idea what this started over, but it wasn't game related (some might argue they played too much GTA..........). While still right up in the other kid's grill, the smack talker decided to throw a punch, and landed two good shots on his "opponent".

By this time, I 've got the phone in hand and dialed the "9", waiting a bit before finishing the last digits "1-1". The leader was cool, and told his crew "not here guys, not here!". Since they were so close to the door, the scuffle spilled out onto the sidewalk, and the two non-participants were trying to restrain the fighters. It was over pretty quick, and the leader came back to grab his CD's that fell, and apologized for what happened. I watched as they left, and here's the kicker - they all get in the same car and drive away together!

My first thought is that they stole something, and that whole fight was a distraction ploy - but nothing was missing! That whole scene made absolutely no sense - but know what? A lot of things in life don't............

Here is to you Bob!

Not everyone that comes into our store is a retard. Though somedays that seems the case... One of my favorite customers is a 70 year old gentleman named Bob. At 70 bob is a big time game player. His family often comes in and gets him gift cards where he saves and buys tons of games. He plays mostly war games, but i see him going for things like God of War too.

Its always nice to see the different type of game players. And its fun when you and an older gentleman have something in common. Makes ya wonder who else out there plays games.

The Movie Bin

So we have this bin of DVD's in the store...We sell them for 4.95 a piece. This bin brings a vast amount of characters about, but my personal favorite are the bin fixers. We keep the bin messy so people have to dig through it to find the movies they are looking for. This causes them to find other movies they want or bring back memories and they decide to buy them... Its actually amazing when u see how good it works.

So in digging for the movies this causes people to stack them up and fix the bin all nice and neat. I seen people spend like 20 minutes on fixing the bin..And even people who put it in alphabetical order. After they leave I'll usually go over and mess it all up again for the next person. Of course this caused a humorous story.

One time after the customer fixed the movies and left. He told me he fixed them...Like he did me a favor..So he left and I messed em back up..and he came in again...and was like...what happened to the movies? Me not wanting to get into it with em said oh someone came in after you i guess... so he runs outside and looks around and leaves...weird...guess some people are just bored...

Oh the irony.........

Have you looked on the back of some movies or games lately? I think the information there was designed by eye doctors, the writing is so small. One customer brought a movie up to me, and asked if I knew what the rating was, and if it contained "foul language."

The package designers not only used the smallest font possible for the human eye, but also hid the rating and content box somewhere in the middle (I forget what movie it was........). After practically making out with the DVD case holding it so close to my face to read it, I saw it was a PG rated movie, and it only contained adult situations.

The customer's response?

"Good, I don't want my kids to hear bad language in a movie. There's too much s--t to deal with in the world anyway."

I couldn't help but laugh at that one...........

Murphy's Law in FULL effect

Screw Murphy.

Whoever she or he is. Why not make a more helpful law like Einstein or Newton.

No, you had to come up with "anything that can go wrong, will." (Seriously, anybody know who Murphy really is and where this came from?) Today the DVD resurfacer was on the fritz, and the strangest thing happens.

I can go three eight hour shifts without anyone coming in to fix a disc. Sometimes longer. Not many people know about our ability to fix scratched discs, much less use it. You know how many came in just today for that purpose? Around FIVE. How do they find out today's the least likely day to get a disc cleaning? It's beyond me.

One guy I felt really bad for - his computer crashed, and his Windows disc was completely rimmed. This happens when a CD device is turned on it's side or bumped with a disc in it (happens to the 360 a lot from what I hear). He was in this afternoon trying to get it cleaned so his computer would be up and running again. Kept saying he needed it up today......but that just didn't happen. He was muttering something about a "Mac..." on the way out though........

Play it cool, Postman..............

Working at a game store can teach you many lessons about life in general. Here's a runthrough of one transaction and the practical nuggets you can walk away with:

1) Try before you buy.
I had a customer who brought in a Playstation wanting to sell it. This is the old grey system (I can't even call it a PS One due to the remake), which some of you younger kids reading this might not even know about. Youngster history lesson: Sony made a console before the PS2 which was just called a Playstation, think of what you play currently but will no textures and all polygon-like. I knew these systems are old, so I was very careful to check out the condition. When trying the "open" button for the lid, it got stuck, and I couldn't pop the button back out.

2) Take a step back from your situation, you might see things in a different perspective.
I told the guy I couldn't buy it since it has to be fully working. So he took it back, and said "wait a minute, let me try something......" He whips out a knife and starts poking away at the button. At first I thought nothing of it, but this was a good size knife, a little larger than those pocket knives (nothing you could clean a fish with though.) Here's where I started the back-steppin'. I quickly realized there's a guy standing here with a knife, and it's possible things could turn real ugly real fast.

3) Play it cool.........
That goes for just about any situation, from hostage negotiations to talking to women to selling iceboxes. I figured that I could either tell him to put the knife away right away, no weapons allowed here except the kind that could frag an online opponent, or just let things play out. Based on the fact that he wasn't making any threating comments or gestures, I kept it cool. After fiddling with the Playstation for about 3 minutes he couldn't fix the button either, so he said "oh well" and left. Now if someone tries to unjam the drive door to a 360 with a shotgun, that's a whole nother story...........

I Want my Mtv!!!!!!!

Response to ADITLOVG (try to say that one....) has been great. Actaully, better then great. Not only have people found it to be a bit informative and good for a chuckle, some would even call it newsworthy. Mtv news worthy. Hunter and I scored an interview with Stephen Totilo, and you can check it out here. It was a fun time from the initial contact (which was a huge shock to me) all the way up until the final posting. Thanks to everyone out there who has been supporting the site! And if you are enjoying what you read, be sure to drop a comment, we like to hear from people.

Simon's quest............

Well, the kids's name isn't Simon, but he's still on quite a quest. The story starts out like this:

We're located in a small strip mall, so each business gets familiar with most of the other people who work in the stores there. Luckily there are food vendors, so lunch is never far away. Two doors down houses a bakery, great for when you get donut cravings. One of the younger bakery employees comes into our store, and heads for the old NES games. Nothing out of the ordinary so far.......until he goes to check out. I notice he's covered in white powder - this guy's not Tony Montoya, so I asked him about what's going on. He said they just had a food fight over at work - something that happens quite often. That must be a fun way to blow off some steam.......I couldn't very well throw games at people here, it would hurt too much.

We get into a conversation about NES games, and I learn that he's trying to collect a FULL SET of nes games. That's a lot of work, and a lot of money to be spent. Some of the rarer Nintendo Entertainment System games go for over $400, so this kid's got his work cut out. If you want to check his progress, it's all tracked on a webpage here.

On a completely unrelated note, I just had someone return a ps2 set because "it wouldn't play movies". They brought the movie in with them, and it wouldn't play becuase it was a Blu-Ray version. Already people are confused with formats, it's going to be a fun November......

The Telltale Television

Behind the counter, we've got a major part of the business mounted on the wall. If the CD cleaning machine is the heart of our operation, the 52 inch flat panel plasma TV is the brain. This beauty both entertains customers and get you through the long, dragged out slow peroids of the day. Today is the first Sunday of football season, so you know what's playing come 1pm. In fact, last year on a very slow day I was staring glazed eyed at the screen watching a slow paced gridiron game, and then it hit me: "I'm getting paid to sit around and watch football. This is the best job EVAR!"
I enjoy hockey more than football, so during last year's Stanley Cup playoffs, I was getting antsy waiting for the game. I had the playoff channel on about an hour before the game started, and they were running horse jumping, which if you are rich is called EQUESTRIAN. But for the rest of us, it's just horseplay. A customer is checking out, places his games on the counter, looks at the TV, and says:

"Wow, equestrain. You do realize you're watching EQUESTRIAN, right?"

Me: "Oh, I just have this channel on waiting for the Stanley Cup Playoffs."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that........." in his best Seinfeld voice. I guess he didn't believe me.

He used the word equestrian, I should have overcharged him.

Besides, Link rides a horse who jumps stuff, and he's cool, right?

Mr. Bring it back

So last year around when Madden 2006 we had a customer who bought a Gamecube and a Madden 2006. Everything was good and cool with the sale...no problems..guy paid. So about two days later the guy wants to return the item...says its not working..wants his money back. We test out all of our sets so we are always sceptical of these calls. Its rare but sometimes it does happen so we told him to bring it in and we will check it out. So he comes in and low and behold..it works perfect...and he starts the "it didnt work at my house" excuse... My boss has this unwritten rule...if they tell us the truth help em out..if they lie to us for no reason..then dont take it back. We are easy with returns...but we dont need your made up stories...just tell us you dont like it. So my boss tells him to be on his way and he threatens to KILL my boss...says that he will be waiting for him when the store closes and everything...of course he was all talk...

Fast forward to Madden 2007.....guess who comes into buy a PS2 and a Madden 2007...yup Mr. Bring it back....So by this time i forget what he looked like...and i sold him a PS2...as soon as he left my boss told me who he was...and i was like oh crap.... My boss asked if i wanted to make a bet that he brings it back or not....but i didnt...haha...so the next day...sure enough..."my ps2 works with everything but my new madden"...so we told em to come in and get his money back...but he wanted another set... Giving him another set isnt going to matter since the one we gave him is fine...so we told him to just come in and get his money and go get it somewhere else.....

I forgot to tell my boss he called...and i left and sure enough about 20 minutes later! My boss calls me telling me who came in and we shared a laugh about it......and thus named him Mr. Bring it back...

We have nicknames for lots of the customers....Like coffee joe...who has a coffee everytime he comes in....Movie steve who buys a movie everyday....helps us know who we are talking about without having to describe the people....But i'll save that for another story!

1,2,3,4..........I Declare Console War

If you are reading this, then chances are you know about the next generation consoles due out in a few months, right on time for the holiday season. There are a good number of customers who come in and ask who I think is going to win the "console wars" - the X-Box 360, Wii, or PS3. I'd like to state my opintion on this subject by first saying: I HATE THE TERM CONSOLE WARS.

By referring to the introduction of new gaming systems from several different companies as "console wars", the media is relating the entire situation to a business perspective. And while it's true that money makes the world go round, I am first and foremost a gamer. This means that I really, really enjoy playing games, and could care less about Sony's business strategy or Nintendo's fourth quarter profit earning. What the console wars mean to me is that I'm going to have a boatload of new material to play in the near future, so ya know who wins the console wars? I DO.

As a consumer, the console wars world view also reduces me to a mindless peon, who votes for the winner in this contest by shelling out my hard earned money to the company that impresses me with the best new specs. Well guess what, I'm more than just a number on a fourth quarter sales report, I'm someone who enjoys the hobby and would rather have the software developers spend their time making games that are innovate and fun to play, rather than CD-length advertisements for their machines.

And in this "war", does there have to be only one winner and two losers? Can't each console sell well to the specific area of gamers it has been designed for? What these companies should do is combine their efforts, and use their strong points to create the most impressive piece of gaming hardware the world has ever seen:
The Playstation Wii60

This monster console would feature:
Nintendo's outstanding manufacturing quality. I still know of NES systems that run fine after a dust off. Both Microsoft and Sony have had known issues with their units breaking down or overheating. The big N could handle the production of these game systems.

Microsoft's online design. What first struck me about the 360 was the online content, from Live features to downloadable demos. Both Sony and the big "N" have been weak with the online department.

Sony's huge library of games, which just about cover every aspect of gaming, from keeping the little kids entertained to playing through a 60 hour RPG. The Gamecube is still being called a "kid's console", and the 360 is geared for upscale, serious gamers. Having Sony's library of titles and thrid party support would please just about anyone who picks up a game.

So remember, when the smoke and dust settles from the Battle of the Bulge taking place this November, if creativity and quality is delivered by all three companies, YOU, my friend, have emerged victorious in the Console Wars.

New Release!

And, sometimes I just get silly..........

So when ya closing?

Human beings have an innate longing to see each other fail. Somebody trips, everyone around them points and laughs. Nascar - if you don't see a crash, you feel cheated of your five hours of watching cars go around in circles. Bush gets elected for another four years. Watching others fail can make us feel better about ourselves, right? Seems like that same thought process translates into other people's businesses also.

I constanly have people come up to me when checking out asking, "so, when are you guys closing down?" I'm in pretty good with the staff there, being one of the three of them myself, so this usually comes as a shock. Did I not get that memo? I think since we're a small store people think we're doomed to failure. Here are some of the reasons why people have assumed we are closing up shop:

1) The shelving has been rearranged. We have the store divided by consoles, with DVD movies mostly in the middle. The owner likes to move things around every few months to keep things interesting. Everytime this happens, customers panic and think it's game over......man.

2) "You didn't get a copy of the new release (insert really obscure game here) in. Are you closing?" No, that game just won't sell.

3) There's more than two empty spaces on the shelf. All this means is that we have other customers with similar interests, such as gaming.

4) We were either closed for a holiday, or opened up five minutes late one day.

5) "I haven't seen the owner the last three times I've been in - are you selling the business?"

6) There arent any used consoles for sale. This is rare, since consoles come in frequently, but there are times when nobody wants to ditch their PS2, and we must be belly up if we don't have any.

7) The .25 cent candy machines are empty.

8) The demo 360 unit is switched off.

So remember people, unless the door is barred and it's pitch black inside, and as long as there are games to be bought and sold, we'll be there for ya......

GTA: Corrupting youth without even playing it.......

There are a lot of little things you need to remember when working in a game store - the fact that Mario Party 5 trade-ins should include the microphone, most Resident Evil Gamecube games have two discs (although the case should give that away), Wavebird controllers should have the same settings on controller and receiver, and don't sell "M" rated games to kids. I've had some people argue that it's illegal allow a minor to purchase an "M" title, however this is not true: the rating is there as a guideline, it's not an enforcable law. Working at the store is a crash course in multitasking: you constantly need to run the CD cleaner, ring people up, answer calls, tell them when the PS3 is due out and how they're probably not going to get one unless they work for Sony, etc. So naturally, being spread so thin, I might let a GTA title slip out the door to someone who's not old enough to shave yet.

This was the case with one 15ish year old kid. He bought the game in the afternoon, and about two hours later he's back in the store with his dad. The kid's face is red and he looks like he's gonna explode. The father tells me that his son is not allowed to play this game, and is really cool about it. I was expecting some yelling, and got some, but not from the dad, this (fifteen year old, remember) started throwing the biggest hissy fit you've ever seen.

"Dad, why can't I play GTA! My friend can play it, you're such a f......... ass hole!"

"Now son, you know I don't allow you to play mature games....."

"Wuh wuh wuh mature.........I f........ hate you dad. Whatever." All this is said in the mocking, condescending tone, I wish I had audio I could play for you......

"Pick another game out son, you have store credit now......"

The kid grabs 50 Cent Bulletproof and say "I guess I can't buy this one either.........what do you know anyway.......god, you're such a moron......."

I have to hand it to the dad, he's the most patient person I've seen. If I had a kid who talked to me like that, you'd have GTA reinacted in the store as I drag the punk out and issue a reset on him, Mortal Kombat style. Thankfully nobody is directing this anger at me, just some domestic disputes at the local game store.

By now I swear this kid is almost in tears, still muttering things at his dad both out loud and under his breath. I can't remember what game he finally ended up with, but this time it was certainly parent approved. I can honestly say I've seen four year olds who dragged a copy of Shark Tale to their parents only to be denied throw less of a tantrum. Thanks to Rockstar Games for spoiling another one of America's youth................

Everyone is a tough guy

So i had some guy come in for a Madden. He wanted me to sell it to him tax free cause "All i have is 50 man." I told em...i couldnt help em...we have to pay taxes. He insisted that what i said was bullshit..so i told em to take it up with the state. He then kept saying i was full of shit and told me i was charging to much for tax. So i said 7%....gotta pay it. Then he tells me that the local walmart was selling it for 35$. So i told em "Thats good for them...go buy it there then."

So knowing he is not going to win this battle he tells his friend..."oh man lets hurry up and get outta here before i beat this kid up." I'm pretty avg for a guy....but this guy was almost dwarf sized and about half my weight...i couldnt help but smile and laugh a little...so then what happens? Of course he puts Madden on the counter and buys it..full price with tax. Me being the cocky bastard i am sold it with a smile. Not just any smile...I probably coulda been the new joker with the smile i had on my face. Oh yeah, he paid with 60 dollars....haha...and once all said and done he told me thanks and have a nice day...haha..

Ya know....why do ya have to come in here acting like a tough guy for a video game...its my job to make money and i dont care who he is...hes not going to get it discounted cause he comes in and acts tough. Actually I almost overcharged him cause he tried pulling that crap. Just goes to show ya why i give up on people...what was he going to do if i acted more cocky to em...punch me and go to jail over a price of a video game? Really...we make dollars off new games...dollars...its not like i am getting over on anyone...

Why do some people bother...

There should be a test that people have to take to be able to use the phone or even to converse with others. This is the week that Madden 07 came out and basically all hell breaks loose. The thing that gets me the most about this day is the needy phone calls. Up to a week before the game shipped we got calls asking if it came out yet...when weekend hit....i must have took at least 50 calls...telling everyone "Monday....on Monday." Yes, Monday being a day early...my store got them a day early so we started selling them off...and this caused more stupid phone calls...

I think the funniest one i heard was one my boss got. The person on the phone asked him if we had madden yet..and my boss said yes we have it...then the person on the phone asks how are you selling it already..i thought it wasnt out....then why the hell are you calling if you thought it wasnt out...did ya just want someone to talk to about it? I mean really...we have things to do.

I had a kid call me today and ask if its true that if you had madden 2004-2006 you get madden 2007 for free.....someone must be playing a sick joke on that kid...everyone knows the old madden games are worthless once the new ones are out. We buy them all day long for 1-2 dollars and sell them at the flea markets.

I swear if we didnt need to get some phone calls everyday i'd have it off the hook all day.

Some of whats to come!

I have not had to much time to tell a lot of my stories lately with Madden day and my girlfriend leaving for college soon, but fear not...more stories to come!

I have some great Madden day stories to tell.....as well as inside store blunders from the craziness...I also have some stories about the good rather than the bad..so stay tuned this week!

Directions not included with some games....

Not everyone who walks into a store is a customer - there are some cleverly disguised patrons that wander in to certain businesses with other goals in mind than to buy something. These range from vendors who want to sell candy for "charity", people looking to use the bathroom (even though it's clearly stated NO RESTROOMS), vagrants panhandling for bus change, and the lest offensive of the lot, people asking for directions (not game manuals, but a verbal road map of how to get somewhere).

We're somewhat close to Atlantic City, so you get people asking how to pick up the Atlantic City Expressway from the store. Very simple, so I spell it out for them and they go gamble their savings away rather then invest in something like an X-Box 360. One time a regular was in when someone was looking to go to AC, so after I did my best navigation system imitation, the regular told me stories of when he used to work in the city........

He used to be a hot dog vendor, and always had people asking him how to get around the city. At first he'd help them out and point them in the right direction. But it starts to wear on you after the first 10 or so people ask each day, so he'd start messing with folks a bit. His one trick was to send them a way that would wind up exactly where they were standing now.......basically a large square without telling them the obvious "three lefts". Sometimes this would take creativity......

Then my favorite would be the "blind cutoff" - The aimless wanderer would approach the cart, and say "excuse me, can you tell me how to get to........", and right before they would give a destination, the regular would say "sure, just head down two blocks, make a right, follow that straight down and you can't miss it." 10 out of 10 times the person would say thanks and continue on, not realizing they never gave a destination! At least Mapquest doesn't have sufficient AI to start breaking your stones just yet...........

"Wanna buy my stolen...er-questionable goods?"

One fine day I was working the store, listening to the arena rock On Demand channel (because where else can you hear Damn Yankees being played at least once a day?), when a teenager strolled in wanting to sell an I-Pod Nano. Sometimes we carry the newer technology gadgets, but for the most part we only deal with game consoles and game related accessories. So here's how the conversation goes:

"Hey, would you guys want to buy an I-Pod Nano?"

"Well, not at the moment, we sold a handful when they first came out, but not anymore."

"Yeah, I just found it in the park.....it's cool! You can even see the people's pictures on here, they just took a vacation to DC! Check it out....." (Ok, first thing, if you want to sell something that isn't yours, DON'T mention it isn't yours. Second, looking at someone's vacation pictures is like inviting yourself into their house and walking around like you own the place. I think it bothered me more that this kid peered into the soul of this family uninvited more than he wound up with their I-Pod. Then again, the owners should have kept a closer watch on it anyway.......If I carried around a piece of equipment over $200 bucks you better believe I'm going to know exactly where it is at all times.)

"Wow, that's neat......didn't you even think to turn it in?" - This was a very stupid question to ask on my part. If he's here trying to sell it, the thought of actually trying to return it to the rightful owners would be the farthest thing from his mind. But I had to see what the response would be. All I got was a simple -

"Ah, no."

I told him I couldn't use it and he went on his merry way. I'm sure the kids going to grow up to be used car salesman and use some line like:

"Would you be interested in this 1997 Saturn, sir? The previous drug runner owner just had the flood damage taken care of, and the replacement brake pads should hold out for about another three months."

One day while working a group of about four twenty-somethings came in and checked out the movie section of the store. They didn't seem to find what they wanted, so on the way out they asked me for the new edition of Wizard of Oz.

I thought it a little strange, since most younger people are more into new releases, horror, and the like......Wizard is a good movie, but old and black and white in some places........and colorless movies are like Kryptonite to todays youth. Lucky for them I had a copy behind the counter that I just resurfaced. I showed it to them, and you'd think I just handed them the winning lottery ticket. Smiles, high fives, shreaks of joy, maybe even an orgazism or two.

I had to make a comment on why they would get so exicted over that movie, and they dropped the urban legend on me: You know whats coming.......Pink Floyd.......Dark Side........The Wizard synching up perfectly. They said they were all going to take it home and verify that it worked. I wasn't informed as to what exactly Pink Floyd had to do with flying monkeys, so I demanded an explanation.

The leader of the group explained to me that if you start playing Dark Side right at the end of the thrid roar from the MGM lion, the music would synch up with the film. And not only once, you can set the CD to loop and the trick still works. But what exactly does "synch up" mean, I inquired? Well, sometimes it's the lips moving with the lyrics, sometimes it's the subject matter of the song with the plot of the movie, but it's appapently magical. I have yet to try this out for myself, but one day when I can gather up enough of my friends and find a used copy of Wizard, I'll have to see this for myself.

Then I thought of other versions that might work:
The Wiz / The latest 50 Cent CD
Bad Santa / Any Toby Keith CD
Showgirls / Any Britney Spears CD
Brokeback Mountain / Any Lance Bass CD

Try some out for yourself and see if you can discover any movies and music that synch up!

Kick Me

Ok...so i must have a kick me sign on my back or something to the same effect that brings bad luck or something...I was sitting here on a dead summer Saturday morning...There was nothing going on..i was done all the work i needed to do..no one came in...eventually this guy came in and wanted to get a cd cleaned....

We have a 20,000 industrial machine here that takes scratches outta discs and basically can turn any disc thats not cracked into a brand new shiny perfect disc. Including those GTA discs...but that is another story.

So...he comes in and asks about it...
Guy: So you can repair the discs?
Me: Yep..its 5 dollars..it will make it perfect.
Guy: how does it work?

So i explain how it works....

Guy: So your pirating games?

At this point i was totally dumbfounded....is this guy that stupid..or does he have some other motive....but lucky for me...this wasnt my first day...

Me: No sir...it simply takes scratches out..not copying the disc.
Guy: But, the game is broken and your fixing it. Are you giving money to the game makers?
Me: No sir the company already got the money for this game. All we do is offer a service to fix the disc if its damaged.
Guy:So your not giving money to the company when you do this and your taking money outta their pockets.
Me: No sir..they already got the money....people mess their games up..this is why the sell things such as the game doctor....(which is crap btw....)
Guy: No...your pirating...whats your name?
Me: so i tell em...cause its not like its going to make a difference...
Guy: You'll be hearing from my lawyer...
Me: Ok no prob...here take a buisness card so you know how to find me..

The guy got all pissed at me and stormed out....needless to say..its been over a year and i havent heard from anyone or anything...go figure....

This guy was retired and prob bored and needed money and trying to sue anyone for anything....but try someone else who is a fucking idiot...and not someone who knows how to do his damn job....I deal with shit like this all the time...its why i have the job...

And for anyone who doesn't know...you are allowed to make backup copies of games you own...your just not allowed to sell them...and resurfacing isnt creating a new disc...therefore we arent selling a copied disc...just fixing a damaged disc....which is perfectly allowed...

Beggers can be losers..........

Here's an incident that almost ended my retail gaming career before it even got started. This took place shortly after I was hired for the store, I think about my third shift in. I had several things going on at once, which is the usual when you're the only person working the store. I'm waiting on a guy in line buying a lot of new release movies, so spending that much money will get you most of my attention. Behind him is a store regular wanting to sell a PS2 set.

As I'm ringing up the movie guy, a colorful character walks in and starts talking to the ps2 lady. They talked like they knew each other and I didn't think much of it. Until I started to actually look at the guy - he's dressed in street gear, which isn't too unusual, but he's got his jaw wired shut or something, and he's holding some kind of drink in his hand. He starts talking, and I see a Flavor Flav style metal grill in his teeth, and after a few words I figure out what kind of drink he's carrying - beer. I don't catch the whole converstation, but the ps2 lady points next door, and he leaves.

She walks up and I start to hook up her set to verify it works. She explains that he was soliciting her for some bus money, and she told him to try next door. She was creeped out by him, and said he's drunk and I should lock the front door. Not a bad idea, so I start to do that, when the store owner comes in - which takes some pressure off of me. We mention the colorful character, and speak of the devil, he strolls back in and starts yelling at everyone - "why'd you shend me necht door - they didn't give me no dolla either! Ya coulda just said no....." I thought he was going to punch the woman, the way he was looking at her. He then curses off everyone in the store, and the owner gets into it with him. It took a fake phone call to the cops to finally get him to leave.

I ask the owner if this is what I have to expect all the time. He said no, and thankfully Flavor hasn't returned to the store, probably nursing that jaw back to health, which I can pretty much guess someone caused with a large fist to his face. Makes me appreciate the geeks who come in and talk you to death that much more: at least they are non-threatening.

Outrageous pricing

I had a customer once that was buying some PS2 games, and she said she would be shipping them to her family, who lived in Trinidad. I asked her about the gaming scene there, and she said it was expensive......MAD expensive. One ps2 game would cost $400 (is she thinking Neo Geo?) I don't know how true this is, but I know I'm not paying a cent over $200 for my lastest GTA cloned game.....

I had just purchased an original NES system and collection of games - we still deal with "retro" gaming, even though most larger stores such as Gamestop have phased them out. I had the set on the floor behind me, and a younger guy buying something said "oh, you're lucky to have a NES, they go for like $700 on E-bay!". I didn't argue with him, since I just saw it on ebay for around five bucks including some games. People just seem to love to inflate how much stuff is worth.........I tried to sell him an Atari 2600 for $32,000 but no sale ;(

Visit from a friend!

Kirby showed up in the store one day!!!! Really!!

Well, actually this girl (stop right there, I know what you're thinking: What's a girl doing in a game store? Well, most of the time it's a mom buying a game for her kids, or a female buying something for her boyfriend. I only met one girl under 45 who said she plays games for herself, and promptly asked her to marry me.) bought a game on credit, and her name was Kirby. Her NAME WAS KIRBY! I told her that her name was Kirby (which I'm sure she knew since people called her that all her life), and explained that was also a video game character, which she said she knew.

Not much of a point to that story, but Kirby visiting the store made my afternoon.....

Don't hustle a hustler

There's a good amount of friendly people who visit the store that you look forward to talking to and you form relationships with. But life being what it is, there has to be negative elements to balance out the positive ones. That would be the SCAMMERS. These are the desperate people who think they've come up with some brilliant idea that the game industry people have never seen before to get one over on us and wind up with more cash. I'd rather you just shoplift something from the stop than try to outsmart us, really, it insults our intelligence. Here's my top three from least creative to criminal mastermind:

1) The empty box - This one's so simple a child could do it. Buy a game, then bring it back the next day and say there was no disc in it. Note this usually applies only to used games, however I did have sometime attempt it with a factory sealed game. My BS meter was going off the scale, but I did open up a sealed copy of the same title, and that one WAS missing a disc. So looks like the distributor scammed us that time........but 98% of the time, the mysterious vanishing disc just doesn't work.

2) Selling a dead console - We always check consoles before buying them, because it'd be really stupid not to. Someone was attempting to sell an X-Box, so I hooked it up and the first game wouldn't load.......so I try another........no luck......third strike you're out, so this guy had a dead system. "It worked at home five minutes ago......", that's the one they always come back with. Well, I'm gonna pay you via a check, and when it bounces my reply will be "there was enough cash in the account to cover it five minutes ago.....". I gave a description of the guy to the boss, and it turns out he was in just yesterday trying to sell the same console to a different staff memeber. Nice try Ocean's Eleven, next time have George Clooney do some more recon work first.

3) There's a demo PS2 running in the store, and at the time we had Need For Speed Underground playing. A guy comes in with a NFSU box, and says the disc is missing (this is a variation of scam #1). He says it must be the one in the demo set, and we forgot to give it to him. So I check the receipt first, and it lists a NFS game, but since there are about 100 versions of that game, it's not the Underground one listed, it's Hot Pursuit or something. DING, my scammer sense is tingling. "Check the demo set, man, just give me the disc from there, you guys must have forgot....". Lemme tell you the feeling I had next was close to an orgazism when I got to tell the guy "THE PS2 DEMO SET HAS A HARD DRIVE AND THE GAMES RUN FROM THAT!" This guy just got PWNED! and just walked out of the store.

Score:
Postman: 3
Wanna be criminals: 0

Perverts (July 26th)

So a normal slow wednesday morning....but not without the nutcase of the day. This skinny kid wearing a rush t-shirt and had long hair came in. Sounded like he was a little slow. Wanted to trade in some movies...Titles were like bottom of the barrel at walmart..you know..the ones you gotta actually dive in to get...like 1$ items...So i give em a price...he takes it...all is good...then about 10 minutes later he comes back in.

Here i am thinking ya know..prob left something...his keys on the counter..happens a lot...but no....he brings in a stack of hentai....for you who dont know..its japanese anime porn...yes...anime porn...So i tell em we dont take em...i wouldnt even touch em...and thats when it happened...

Kid: "Oh yeah...apprently gamestop and tunes wont take these either...i dont need em anymore ya know? now that i have the girlfriend"

Wow...so thanks for telling me you jerk off to anime porn...thats really where i wanted my day to go....and the damn kid had a girlfriend...prob the bearded lady in the freak show...

Life imitates art.....and movies

In case you haven't figured it out yet, working at a game store is excatly like the movie Clerks. Hunter is the Randall to my Dante (I'm a bit bigger, he's Randall's build, and we both play hockey - go figure). Every customer you've seen in that movie has been in the store at least once.....

I had a younger kid bring back a Gamecube Wavebird wireless controller saying it didn't work. My first thought was that he didn't put batteries in, since we all know wireless technology is magic and runs on pixie dust and happy thoughts. But no, he had a full clip of AA's in the chamber.......

Then I asked if he set the dial on the controller to the same number as the dial on the receiver. The parents were with him, so the mother looks at him and says in a Mrs. Cartman voice, "did you know that, pookiekins?" And the kid was all like "sure, yeah, yeah, same number, yes, I made sure."

So I check the dials and the settings were not synched up. I fixed it, plugged it into a store Cube, and proceeded to play a game from about 10 feet away. The kid swore it still didn't work, and assumed since it didn't work at home before, it won't work for him still. Maybe he lives inside a smokestack and the signal can't penetrate air quality that thick. I talked him into taking it back home and trying it again. Ok, buying a used Wavebird without instructions may excuse you from not knowing about synching the dials, but don't say you did when you didn't, learn to trust the game clerks (oh, wait, Gamestop........never mind that last thought).

Boss number 1: Saggy Tits (July 24th)

I had to go in later on Monday becuase my boss's son had a hockey game. So i get to work...and about 45 minutes in i get a phone call.

Hunter: "Hello."
Lady: "Hello..I bought a Gameboy there earlier today and it doesnt seem to be working."
Hunter: "What seems to be the problem?"
Lady: "I bought a game from walmart and it doesnt seem to be working in your set."

Ok..lets stop right here....the lady bought the system from us...and went to walmart and the same game we sell for 10$...she bought there for 20$.....and she mentioned she got it at walmart twice....why does no one realize this is a slap in the face....since ya know...we sell games.....ok back to the story...

Hunter: "Sometimes ya need to clean the set...(here i told her how)...try that and if it doesnt work bring it back in"

Sure enough....about an hour lady..the lady walks in...The lady looked like a heavy set lady...she gave me the gameboy and all...then all of a sudden...it happened...She turned to the side to get her kid and i had to take a step back....her stomach wasnt in fact her stomach..but her god damn saggy tits...i swear...they came LOWER than her belly button..i was like wtf.....i had to be imagining this...i swear it looked like she had been drinking beer for like 40 years when u see her gut..but when she turned to the side..its like some magic trick where her tits sag lower than her bellybutton....some harry houdini shit.....

So when they gave me the gameboy...i couldnt locate the program..put the game in and it worked fine....i showed them it worked and everything....they told me they didnt get that far..never saw that screen...etc....so her little girl walks up...i show her the gameboy and she says....i shit you not...

Little Girl: "Oh you mean your supposed to push the game in that far?"

At this point i wanted to commit suicide....I swear our customers are retards...every single one of them.

So they walk outside...shes laughing and talking to her husband....who funny enough...looks like George Castansa from Seinfeld....which kinda explains a lot...

A New Begining

So...being bored at work...and sometimes having random time late at night i wanted to fill the void. In talking to Postman(This is our Sunday guy..and will be a regular in this blog) I mentioned how i wanted to make a blog. With Postman now being a regular at work and almost having a year under his belt..he has seen his share of craziness and said i should do something with that. So here it is...will be slow at first since i can't remember everything..but both me and Postman will be making entries. I will refer to myself as Hunter....the name I use as videogame screen names. Why you ask? Cause ya never know what happens...and i dont feel like dealing with customer shit if it ever happens to get to that point...so...deal with it ;). Also....I'm not a english major nor do i give a shit about my spelling, grammar, and all that useless bullshit...so...deal with that too ;).

So....with the intro said...Soon you'll be hearing about our friendly men in blue...JJ....(aka cheese boy......Wendy's kid).......the kid who ran down the highway......the gamestop lady.....the 360 guy.....the kid who john fought with.....the guy who tried to sue me......kelly...and so much more.......