Monday, November 20, 2006

Buying a next gen console: The RPG

I am so tired of all this retail bull that goes along with launching new consoles. The waiting, the shortages, the jacked up ebay prices......why can't I just walk into a store, throw down some cash, take the console home and play it? As frustrating as this may be, I had the thought that it would make a great RPG.
Chapter one: The lineup.
Assemble your party of as many people as you can, and take them to the local merchant. This must be an MMO, since there are already tons of people hanging around this shop. I hope you fought enough slimes on the way and have 50 or 100 gold to throw down on a "slip of promise", or "slip of promise +15" for the 60 GIG model ps3. Only the most valiant warriors (the first 10 or so to show up) will be able to continue their quest.....

My real life counterpart to this was fairly simple for the Wii - I took off from work and hit the mall in time to secure a console. The ps3 was more difficult though.....I read on the internet THAT MORNING that the preorders would start, got to the store late, and the woman in FRONT OF ME got the last pre-order. If she actually has the console or if she got shorted is another story. I was up early on Nov. 17, so I figured I'd go to the store the public masses would overlook: Gamecrazy. Got there 6 AM, no line!!! Around 7:30 AM, one other woman showed up, who then talked my ear off until 9:30 when the Gamecrazy employee arrived to tell us they got 1 set, and it's already gone (i.e. his). But I could write a book about this woman's problems, she told them all to me.

Chapter two: The pre-order.
It's important to remember that the clerk, while pretending to be your friend delivering the console, is really your mortal enemy. Collecting personal information, trying to sell you games and accessories you don't want, and maybe even pulling your chain the whole time because he/she already knows they won't have enough consoles to go around. Keep reducing those HP untill revealing the final TRUE form! You might even run into a battle with some of the other patrons, be sure to equip strong weapons and armor.

Chapter 3: The pickup.
After two weeks of gaining exp. points, leave the Inn around midnight and head back to the shopkeep in the northwest section of the town. While they turn away most people, set the slip of promise to your item button, and use it on the clerk. He will then move the bookcase behind the counter and allow you to pass. Go down the stairs, and you'll see a chest on the right. Open the chest, and bingo! CONSOLE GET!

My RL counterpart to this was fun - a midnight launch at the mall. Some retailers really go crazy though....they took attendance and called everyone's name - reminded me of SCHOOL. All this just to get new technology. We even tried a few other stores on Wii launch day. One Sam's Club was interesting - you had to ask at the customer service desk for a Wii, which was sold out, but she did mention they have games by the registers. Upon asking at checkout, they had to page a person to come over, who escorted us to a locked fenced area. He moved a few boxes around, and found two boxes of games which we were allowed to look through. Now THAT's a real life RPG moment.

At the end of it all, I did score a Wii, which I will probably end up selling. I played my friend's set, and had lots of fun with it, but I think the smartest thing to do is wait a year for the bugs to get worked out of a system (looking in YOUR direction, Sony). The games for both new systems don't impress me much yet, so patience will rule the day today. And just remember people, when playing the console hunt RPG, it's all in good fun and by middle of 07 stores should have ample suppily, so don't kill anyone over it (unless it's a metal slime).


suburbanjoe said...

You forgot about the random encounters with bandits upon walking back to your car with the new console.

Anonymous said...


Well done. Great post - great pics.

Justin said...

Hey,your knowledge on video games is awesome!! My sis too has a nack for all this! And hey, check out my recent post on my avian companion . I hope u'll like it..

Postman said...

Nice segway into the African Greys, Justin, I'm all too familiar.....

And I sould have had bandits attack as you try to return to the home town.....good point. And then an Ebay bonus game to earn more gold afterwards....gotta think these things through better.