Monday, October 23, 2006

Meet Mr. Sparkle!

Today I'd like to introduce you to the hardest working, MOST important employee of the store (sorry Hunter), MR. SPARKLE! He's the CD janitor, working hard spit shining all the brutally scratched up copies of Disney movies that hyperactive kids who don't know anything about the delicate handling of compact disc media get their grubby little hands on. Mr. Sparkle can take a game or movie that's been through the ringer, work his magic, and in 4-6 minutes make it look brand new again.

How does he do it, you might ask? Ice water for veins! Gravel ground between his teeth! Well, more like a cleaning compound that's mixed with some distilled water and slowly ran over the CD as it's being buffed. But Mr. Sparkle does have ice water in his veins - even when facing a long day of cleaning box set after box set of "Lost", he doesn't lose his cool.

Most other janitors that applied for this job only had ONE sanding pad - not Mr. Sparkle! Due to a genetic disorder, Mr. S was born with FIVE sanding pads, proving that he was born just to clean games! Tired of having Kingdom Hearts keep skipping audio when Mickey is blathering on about "Sora, Donald, Goofy........."? Mr. Sparkle will buff you up!

Seriously, a lot of people have shown some interest in the CD cleaner, so I figured I'd show it off a bit. Since we clean almost everything that comes in as trade, it gets quite a workout. The pads get replaced about every 50 cleaings, and the filter needs changing, but other than that it's a very durable machine. There's a touch screen on the top (like a Nintendo DS, kids!) for interaction, and you can change the settings depending on how bad the disc is torn up. Gamecube minidiscs are not a problem, just use a handy adaptor to make them the size of regular Cd's. The one thing Mr. Sparkle can't handle is Dreamcast discs, due to the inner ring they are manufactured with. I'm curious about the Wii and PS3 Blu-Ray discs, just don't ask me to be the guinea pig with my personal game collection.


Anonymous said...

*bows before the power of Mr.Sparkle*

Postman said...

For those who want to have a more intimate encounter with Mr. Sparkle, check here:

I've already had some requests. And yes ladies, he's single.