The monolith has arrived!

So we finally get a PS3 in the store, and the source is a customer who wanted to sell one second hand already. I assume they needed the money........(cue the 2001 Space Odyssey music - this thing looks like a monolith, only does a lot more).

First on my list is registering my gamertag. Of course I go for Postman, and after going through all the information to set it up, the network tells me it's taken! You've got to be kidding me! Out of the whole 20 people in North America that bought a PS3 and didn't sell it yet, one of them thinks they are the real Postman! Oh, well.......I settle for Postmanjr and mess with the system interface a bit.

The web browser looks great in high def, but is hard to navigate. I was having a blast checking out Day in the Life and Shoot the Core on a ps3 set.......hopefully you have a USB keyboard sitting around somewhere, you'll need it. I bookmarked all the necessities (Ebay, Google, etc.) and went to try Blast Factor. It's yet another Geometry Wars clone, which was fun, but played out. There was a small breath of fresh air when tilting the Sixaxis produced a wave across the playing field that knocked enemies over, but it really wasn't too exciting. The demo ended right at a boss fight.....EVIL! The other demo was a Smash TV ripoff, Cash Guns Money or something like that......

After that foreplay, I jumped right into testing the games, Resistance first. Know what? It's your typical FPS. I wasn't blown away like the guy in the Maxwell commercial by the killer next gen graphics. Impressive, mind you, but nothing to go shoot people standing in a Best Buy line over. Genji felt like Onimusha with improved graphics, but was also underwhelming. Maybe I'm being a bit too critical of launch titles (which always suck), but right now I'm not obsessed with owning a new PS3. Add to that the fact that new games won't be appearing until something like March, and my Sony balloon just got deflated.

Buying a next gen console: The RPG

I am so tired of all this retail bull that goes along with launching new consoles. The waiting, the shortages, the jacked up ebay prices......why can't I just walk into a store, throw down some cash, take the console home and play it? As frustrating as this may be, I had the thought that it would make a great RPG.
Chapter one: The lineup.
Assemble your party of as many people as you can, and take them to the local merchant. This must be an MMO, since there are already tons of people hanging around this shop. I hope you fought enough slimes on the way and have 50 or 100 gold to throw down on a "slip of promise", or "slip of promise +15" for the 60 GIG model ps3. Only the most valiant warriors (the first 10 or so to show up) will be able to continue their quest.....

My real life counterpart to this was fairly simple for the Wii - I took off from work and hit the mall in time to secure a console. The ps3 was more difficult though.....I read on the internet THAT MORNING that the preorders would start, got to the store late, and the woman in FRONT OF ME got the last pre-order. If she actually has the console or if she got shorted is another story. I was up early on Nov. 17, so I figured I'd go to the store the public masses would overlook: Gamecrazy. Got there 6 AM, no line!!! Around 7:30 AM, one other woman showed up, who then talked my ear off until 9:30 when the Gamecrazy employee arrived to tell us they got 1 set, and it's already gone (i.e. his). But I could write a book about this woman's problems, she told them all to me.

Chapter two: The pre-order.
It's important to remember that the clerk, while pretending to be your friend delivering the console, is really your mortal enemy. Collecting personal information, trying to sell you games and accessories you don't want, and maybe even pulling your chain the whole time because he/she already knows they won't have enough consoles to go around. Keep reducing those HP untill revealing the final TRUE form! You might even run into a battle with some of the other patrons, be sure to equip strong weapons and armor.



Chapter 3: The pickup.
After two weeks of gaining exp. points, leave the Inn around midnight and head back to the shopkeep in the northwest section of the town. While they turn away most people, set the slip of promise to your item button, and use it on the clerk. He will then move the bookcase behind the counter and allow you to pass. Go down the stairs, and you'll see a chest on the right. Open the chest, and bingo! CONSOLE GET!

My RL counterpart to this was fun - a midnight launch at the mall. Some retailers really go crazy though....they took attendance and called everyone's name - reminded me of SCHOOL. All this just to get new technology. We even tried a few other stores on Wii launch day. One Sam's Club was interesting - you had to ask at the customer service desk for a Wii, which was sold out, but she did mention they have games by the registers. Upon asking at checkout, they had to page a person to come over, who escorted us to a locked fenced area. He moved a few boxes around, and found two boxes of games which we were allowed to look through. Now THAT's a real life RPG moment.

At the end of it all, I did score a Wii, which I will probably end up selling. I played my friend's set, and had lots of fun with it, but I think the smartest thing to do is wait a year for the bugs to get worked out of a system (looking in YOUR direction, Sony). The games for both new systems don't impress me much yet, so patience will rule the day today. And just remember people, when playing the console hunt RPG, it's all in good fun and by middle of 07 stores should have ample suppily, so don't kill anyone over it (unless it's a metal slime).

What about the CONSOLES!?!

We all know what happened this weekend, if you don't you shouldn't be reading this blog. The new consoles invaded the United States, and it was pure chaos trying to get one. I wish I had a good story about a midnight launch at the store, or people throwing money at us to buy sets, but I don't because we got a whole total number of ZERO ps3s or Wiis. Why, you might ask? The Playstation 3 is obvious. Sony "doesn't have enough" to fill orders. And since we're a small mom and pop store, we're first in line to get shafted. Everyone saw that coming. The Wii on the other hand is a little more complicated. If you want to order from Nintendo, you need to be a Nintendo direct store, which we're not. But if you were, they don't just send you a console when you order, they bundle it with tons of crap games that nobody wants. So you get the golden item, but you also have to pay for useless product that's going to sit around. The boss didn't feel like doing that, so he tryed his other distributers. In their case it's much simpler - they just horded them. Luckily I did some pre-ordering at some other stores just to be sure to get my hands on something next-gen, which leads me into the next posting.......

The Mike Kid

I started working here at the store when i was in college...so of course i had some classes with some of our customers. I became friends with this one kid named Ryan. He happened to be the manager at the gamestop across the street from us..our enemy. It was kinda neat though cause he would come in our store..i would go in his..we would chat and share stories.

So after class was over i didnt see him for a while... Then one day he comes in and he is like...

Ryan: Hey Mike

Me thinking he was talking to someone else just let it go...So next time he comes in..

Ryan: Hey Mike whats up?

My boss turns to me..

Boss: Mike?
Hunter: I dunno...haha

So my boss goes to the back and yells my name to start messing witht he kid..he called me by my name like 5 times..the kid still calls me Mike..We couldnt help but crack up..obviously the kid forgot my name...but its just to funny to tell him the truth and its a inside joke now. So whenever he comes in I let him call me Mike and we laugh about it later.

But, of course this caused a funny problem. Me and my girlfriend were at target one day and saw Ryan. I turn to her and I say

Hunter: Whatever this kid says...dont say a word and i'll explain later
Girlfriend: Okie
Ryan: Hey Mike whats up?
Hunter: Not much just killing time...you?
Ryan: Not to much....well gotta go see ya later!

As soon as he is outta sight...my girlfriend turns to me and says

Girlfriend: Mike?
Hunter: Yeah...he forgot my name and calls me Mike..i find it to damn funny to tell him the truth.

It really is so damn funny...I play a good Mike i think ;)
Am i just mean that i dont tell him and instead roll with it and laugh about it later? ;)

Here comes......the BIRDMAN!

Spending any amount of time in a video game store will cause you to brush up against some out-of-the-ordinary characters. And I'm not just talking about the protagonist in the latest version of your favorite game. I could do a roll call of the eccentrics that frequent the store, but today I'm just going to focus on the birdman.
I remember walking into a midday shift with a few customers already in the store and the owner behind the counter. I sit down and start going over things with the owner, casually glancing at the patrons from time to time to be sure they aren't causing any mischief (i.e. robbing us blind). I catch a side view of one guy behind a DVD rack, and swear I see something sitting on his shoulder. He was out of view quickly so I didn't think much of it. Then I hear it - a chirp and someone muttering a high pitched word. As this guy rounds the counter, I see in plain view two birds sitting on either of the man's shoulders. I turn to the owner:

"Hey - that guys got birds! Do we allow pets in here?"

"Oh, that's the birdman. He always come in with them on. They don't bother anyone."

"Are they pets or something? Most people don't take their birds shopping......"

"No, he works at the exitoc bird store down the street....."

"Well, what if they crap on something?"

"Don't sweat it, they'll hit him before they do anything else......he's used to it by now."

Now things start to make some sense. I recognize one animal as an African Grey, becuase my ex-girlfriend used to own one. They're a really cool animal (if your particular one is friendly), and can learn to talk up quite a storm. The other was a large white Cockatoo, which I didn't bother with much. It's fun to watch the reatction of the kids when he's in the store, they either want to interact with the birds and talk to them, or are petrified of them. I haven't seen birdman in a long time, and I kinda miss our feathered friends.....

Hunter's Formula

Our very own Hunter saw this one day, and decided to try it out.......

And guess what, it works! That's him on the left on the way to fix someone's toilet. That is milk in those cups, right guys? Funy thing is, there's a guy in the next room in a Bowser costume that just got the crap beat out of him. Looks like the princess wasn't in another castle after all.

The Touchdown Kid

A father and son were checking out one day, and the dad's got a pile of X-Box games that he places up on the counter. I talk to him a little bit, and learn first of all that his son plays on his school's football team, and happens to be a runningback. The father says that he regrets a deal recently made with this future NFL hall of famer: every touchdown he scores lands him an X-Box game.

This kid's got it made. He must have some talent, since his father also mentioned that he owes about 9 games already, and the lucrative contract was just signed a couple weeks ago. As if a future career in the NFL where players make million dollar salaries isn't enough, having new games to come home to after gridiron matchups must be enough to motivate him to shake one more tackle and push for the end zone. It would be uber-ironic if the youngster wanted a copy of Madden though. Maybe for every touchdown he scores playing in Madden his dad can take him to a football game.

My question is - can this reward system work backwards? For every fumble, does he have to sell a game back to us? If he gets traded to another team, does he have to switch to Playstation?

Meet Mr. Sparkle!

Today I'd like to introduce you to the hardest working, MOST important employee of the store (sorry Hunter), MR. SPARKLE! He's the CD janitor, working hard spit shining all the brutally scratched up copies of Disney movies that hyperactive kids who don't know anything about the delicate handling of compact disc media get their grubby little hands on. Mr. Sparkle can take a game or movie that's been through the ringer, work his magic, and in 4-6 minutes make it look brand new again.




How does he do it, you might ask? Ice water for veins! Gravel ground between his teeth! Well, more like a cleaning compound that's mixed with some distilled water and slowly ran over the CD as it's being buffed. But Mr. Sparkle does have ice water in his veins - even when facing a long day of cleaning box set after box set of "Lost", he doesn't lose his cool.

Most other janitors that applied for this job only had ONE sanding pad - not Mr. Sparkle! Due to a genetic disorder, Mr. S was born with FIVE sanding pads, proving that he was born just to clean games! Tired of having Kingdom Hearts keep skipping audio when Mickey is blathering on about "Sora, Donald, Goofy........."? Mr. Sparkle will buff you up!

Seriously, a lot of people have shown some interest in the CD cleaner, so I figured I'd show it off a bit. Since we clean almost everything that comes in as trade, it gets quite a workout. The pads get replaced about every 50 cleaings, and the filter needs changing, but other than that it's a very durable machine. There's a touch screen on the top (like a Nintendo DS, kids!) for interaction, and you can change the settings depending on how bad the disc is torn up. Gamecube minidiscs are not a problem, just use a handy adaptor to make them the size of regular Cd's. The one thing Mr. Sparkle can't handle is Dreamcast discs, due to the inner ring they are manufactured with. I'm curious about the Wii and PS3 Blu-Ray discs, just don't ask me to be the guinea pig with my personal game collection.

I know "the boss"

Solicitors are the worst. Really. They take time away from serving the customers, and won't take NO for an answer. I'm sure any business gets their share of these parasites, and if you don't know how to deal with them, you're screwed. I'm not talking about someone holding a game tournament wanting to post a flyer in the window, or a kid with a lost dog sign, the real sharks are the ones who have some kind of business deal they want to work out with you....such as including gift cards in a raffle, or selling candy in your store for "charity". I had one of those guys stop in during a shift, and opened up a can of pwnage on him right quick:

"Hi, I'd like to sell these Peppermint Patties at your store and donate the money to (insert charity here)."

"I'm sorry man, we just don't do that here, I can't help you out with that." Which is the truth, it's something we avoid.

"Oh, well I know the owner, I was talking to him the other day, and he said it would be ok."

Slow down pardner. First, you know the owner, and don't refer to him by name? That doesn't pan out.

"So you talked to him just the other day, eh?"
"Yeah, I was in just the other day, and he said I could do it....."

This is great, because the owner was on vacation in Florida for that week. I had this guy by the analogues and knew it. I told him this key fact, and he just turned around and left.

Score:
Postman - 2
Con artists - 0

More gaming stories coming up soon........

The Madden Curse..........

So they say everyone who's on the cover of Madden gets hurt......

Let's hope so.

Fight Night at the store.......

This past weekend was quite an interesting day at the store. Having less of a social life then the other crew members (one took his girlfirend to a play, the other went to a concert), I wound up working an eleven hour shift - open to close. Which in reality I don't mind - I enjoy this job, and that helps me to deal with long days such as this. That, and having things like.....I dunno....fist fights break out in the shop. Did I mention that?


Here's how it went down. A group of four kids come in, and the "leader" (packs of kids always have a leader. Wonder if he's elected, appointed, or just steps up?) wants to sell music CDs. We used to deal in music but stopped about four years ago, so I suggested he try a music store about three miles down the road. He thanked me and the crew started to leave, with two kids hanging by a display by the door, looking at games. These two browsers were talking to each other a little, but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

Next thing I know, one guy is staring the other one down pretty hard. Smack talk starts to fly, and I pay close attention. I still have no idea what this started over, but it wasn't game related (some might argue they played too much GTA..........). While still right up in the other kid's grill, the smack talker decided to throw a punch, and landed two good shots on his "opponent".

By this time, I 've got the phone in hand and dialed the "9", waiting a bit before finishing the last digits "1-1". The leader was cool, and told his crew "not here guys, not here!". Since they were so close to the door, the scuffle spilled out onto the sidewalk, and the two non-participants were trying to restrain the fighters. It was over pretty quick, and the leader came back to grab his CD's that fell, and apologized for what happened. I watched as they left, and here's the kicker - they all get in the same car and drive away together!

My first thought is that they stole something, and that whole fight was a distraction ploy - but nothing was missing! That whole scene made absolutely no sense - but know what? A lot of things in life don't............

Here is to you Bob!

Not everyone that comes into our store is a retard. Though somedays that seems the case... One of my favorite customers is a 70 year old gentleman named Bob. At 70 bob is a big time game player. His family often comes in and gets him gift cards where he saves and buys tons of games. He plays mostly war games, but i see him going for things like God of War too.

Its always nice to see the different type of game players. And its fun when you and an older gentleman have something in common. Makes ya wonder who else out there plays games.

The Movie Bin

So we have this bin of DVD's in the store...We sell them for 4.95 a piece. This bin brings a vast amount of characters about, but my personal favorite are the bin fixers. We keep the bin messy so people have to dig through it to find the movies they are looking for. This causes them to find other movies they want or bring back memories and they decide to buy them... Its actually amazing when u see how good it works.

So in digging for the movies this causes people to stack them up and fix the bin all nice and neat. I seen people spend like 20 minutes on fixing the bin..And even people who put it in alphabetical order. After they leave I'll usually go over and mess it all up again for the next person. Of course this caused a humorous story.

One time after the customer fixed the movies and left. He told me he fixed them...Like he did me a favor..So he left and I messed em back up..and he came in again...and was like...what happened to the movies? Me not wanting to get into it with em said oh someone came in after you i guess... so he runs outside and looks around and leaves...weird...guess some people are just bored...

Oh the irony.........

Have you looked on the back of some movies or games lately? I think the information there was designed by eye doctors, the writing is so small. One customer brought a movie up to me, and asked if I knew what the rating was, and if it contained "foul language."

The package designers not only used the smallest font possible for the human eye, but also hid the rating and content box somewhere in the middle (I forget what movie it was........). After practically making out with the DVD case holding it so close to my face to read it, I saw it was a PG rated movie, and it only contained adult situations.

The customer's response?

"Good, I don't want my kids to hear bad language in a movie. There's too much s--t to deal with in the world anyway."

I couldn't help but laugh at that one...........

Murphy's Law in FULL effect

Screw Murphy.

Whoever she or he is. Why not make a more helpful law like Einstein or Newton.

No, you had to come up with "anything that can go wrong, will." (Seriously, anybody know who Murphy really is and where this came from?) Today the DVD resurfacer was on the fritz, and the strangest thing happens.

I can go three eight hour shifts without anyone coming in to fix a disc. Sometimes longer. Not many people know about our ability to fix scratched discs, much less use it. You know how many came in just today for that purpose? Around FIVE. How do they find out today's the least likely day to get a disc cleaning? It's beyond me.

One guy I felt really bad for - his computer crashed, and his Windows disc was completely rimmed. This happens when a CD device is turned on it's side or bumped with a disc in it (happens to the 360 a lot from what I hear). He was in this afternoon trying to get it cleaned so his computer would be up and running again. Kept saying he needed it up today......but that just didn't happen. He was muttering something about a "Mac..." on the way out though........

Play it cool, Postman..............

Working at a game store can teach you many lessons about life in general. Here's a runthrough of one transaction and the practical nuggets you can walk away with:

1) Try before you buy.
I had a customer who brought in a Playstation wanting to sell it. This is the old grey system (I can't even call it a PS One due to the remake), which some of you younger kids reading this might not even know about. Youngster history lesson: Sony made a console before the PS2 which was just called a Playstation, think of what you play currently but will no textures and all polygon-like. I knew these systems are old, so I was very careful to check out the condition. When trying the "open" button for the lid, it got stuck, and I couldn't pop the button back out.

2) Take a step back from your situation, you might see things in a different perspective.
I told the guy I couldn't buy it since it has to be fully working. So he took it back, and said "wait a minute, let me try something......" He whips out a knife and starts poking away at the button. At first I thought nothing of it, but this was a good size knife, a little larger than those pocket knives (nothing you could clean a fish with though.) Here's where I started the back-steppin'. I quickly realized there's a guy standing here with a knife, and it's possible things could turn real ugly real fast.

3) Play it cool.........
That goes for just about any situation, from hostage negotiations to talking to women to selling iceboxes. I figured that I could either tell him to put the knife away right away, no weapons allowed here except the kind that could frag an online opponent, or just let things play out. Based on the fact that he wasn't making any threating comments or gestures, I kept it cool. After fiddling with the Playstation for about 3 minutes he couldn't fix the button either, so he said "oh well" and left. Now if someone tries to unjam the drive door to a 360 with a shotgun, that's a whole nother story...........

I Want my Mtv!!!!!!!

Response to ADITLOVG (try to say that one....) has been great. Actaully, better then great. Not only have people found it to be a bit informative and good for a chuckle, some would even call it newsworthy. Mtv news worthy. Hunter and I scored an interview with Stephen Totilo, and you can check it out here. It was a fun time from the initial contact (which was a huge shock to me) all the way up until the final posting. Thanks to everyone out there who has been supporting the site! And if you are enjoying what you read, be sure to drop a comment, we like to hear from people.

Simon's quest............

Well, the kids's name isn't Simon, but he's still on quite a quest. The story starts out like this:

We're located in a small strip mall, so each business gets familiar with most of the other people who work in the stores there. Luckily there are food vendors, so lunch is never far away. Two doors down houses a bakery, great for when you get donut cravings. One of the younger bakery employees comes into our store, and heads for the old NES games. Nothing out of the ordinary so far.......until he goes to check out. I notice he's covered in white powder - this guy's not Tony Montoya, so I asked him about what's going on. He said they just had a food fight over at work - something that happens quite often. That must be a fun way to blow off some steam.......I couldn't very well throw games at people here, it would hurt too much.

We get into a conversation about NES games, and I learn that he's trying to collect a FULL SET of nes games. That's a lot of work, and a lot of money to be spent. Some of the rarer Nintendo Entertainment System games go for over $400, so this kid's got his work cut out. If you want to check his progress, it's all tracked on a webpage here.

On a completely unrelated note, I just had someone return a ps2 set because "it wouldn't play movies". They brought the movie in with them, and it wouldn't play becuase it was a Blu-Ray version. Already people are confused with formats, it's going to be a fun November......

The Telltale Television

Behind the counter, we've got a major part of the business mounted on the wall. If the CD cleaning machine is the heart of our operation, the 52 inch flat panel plasma TV is the brain. This beauty both entertains customers and get you through the long, dragged out slow peroids of the day. Today is the first Sunday of football season, so you know what's playing come 1pm. In fact, last year on a very slow day I was staring glazed eyed at the screen watching a slow paced gridiron game, and then it hit me: "I'm getting paid to sit around and watch football. This is the best job EVAR!"
I enjoy hockey more than football, so during last year's Stanley Cup playoffs, I was getting antsy waiting for the game. I had the playoff channel on about an hour before the game started, and they were running horse jumping, which if you are rich is called EQUESTRIAN. But for the rest of us, it's just horseplay. A customer is checking out, places his games on the counter, looks at the TV, and says:

"Wow, equestrain. You do realize you're watching EQUESTRIAN, right?"

Me: "Oh, I just have this channel on waiting for the Stanley Cup Playoffs."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that........." in his best Seinfeld voice. I guess he didn't believe me.

He used the word equestrian, I should have overcharged him.

Besides, Link rides a horse who jumps stuff, and he's cool, right?

Mr. Bring it back

So last year around when Madden 2006 we had a customer who bought a Gamecube and a Madden 2006. Everything was good and cool with the sale...no problems..guy paid. So about two days later the guy wants to return the item...says its not working..wants his money back. We test out all of our sets so we are always sceptical of these calls. Its rare but sometimes it does happen so we told him to bring it in and we will check it out. So he comes in and low and behold..it works perfect...and he starts the "it didnt work at my house" excuse... My boss has this unwritten rule...if they tell us the truth help em out..if they lie to us for no reason..then dont take it back. We are easy with returns...but we dont need your made up stories...just tell us you dont like it. So my boss tells him to be on his way and he threatens to KILL my boss...says that he will be waiting for him when the store closes and everything...of course he was all talk...

Fast forward to Madden 2007.....guess who comes into buy a PS2 and a Madden 2007...yup Mr. Bring it back....So by this time i forget what he looked like...and i sold him a PS2...as soon as he left my boss told me who he was...and i was like oh crap.... My boss asked if i wanted to make a bet that he brings it back or not....but i didnt...haha...so the next day...sure enough..."my ps2 works with everything but my new madden"...so we told em to come in and get his money back...but he wanted another set... Giving him another set isnt going to matter since the one we gave him is fine...so we told him to just come in and get his money and go get it somewhere else.....

I forgot to tell my boss he called...and i left and sure enough about 20 minutes later! My boss calls me telling me who came in and we shared a laugh about it......and thus named him Mr. Bring it back...

We have nicknames for lots of the customers....Like coffee joe...who has a coffee everytime he comes in....Movie steve who buys a movie everyday....helps us know who we are talking about without having to describe the people....But i'll save that for another story!